What the Cabbage and don’t break the boxes?  WTF? Yes, that is exactly what this post is about!  Since it is ‘Settimana della lingua italiana nel Mondo/Week of the Italian language in the World’ this is an Italian language related post about my 2 favourite eufemismi- euphemisms.  A euphemism is a word substitution where a more polite, less vulgar word or expression is used in place of one that may be offensive.  We can subtitle this ‘How to swear politely in Italian’.  Take your conversational Italian to the next level and learn how to swear politely-well, sort of.

Cavolo means cabbage, and is often used as a euphemism for cazzo -the vulgar term for the male reproductive organ.  Why cabbage? Is it because cabbage can be wilted and limp?  Ha ha!  The reason is probably just because the words sound so similar.  It is like how, in English ‘fudge’ is used to replace ‘f*ck’.  Cavolo can be used anywhere as a replacement-and it is used often in everyday Italian. ‘Che cazzo’ translates to WTF.  This is not the literal translation of this expression, which would be ‘what the dick,’ but it is the Italian equivalent to the English WTF.  For those of you who do not speak text, WTF means ‘what the f*ck’).  Che cavolo!

Flying cazzi amulet mobile at the Napoli Airport gift shop

Cavolo! Followed by an exclamation mark, cavolo is an expression of surprise or frustration.  This is equivalent in English to saying ‘Damn!’ or a long, drawn out fuuuuuu*k!  Example:  Cavolo! Mi sono dimenticato le chiave!

Fare col cavolo means to do something with cabbage.  This expression is used to say that something will never happen or is unlikely to be successful.  Example:  Elio lavoro col cavolo.

Non me ne importa un cavolo literally means ‘I don’t give a cabbage’ and is equivalent to IDGAF (I don’t give a f*ck). Example:  Ho vista tua ex fidanzata con un altro /I saw your ex girlfriend with someone else.  ‘Non me ne importo un cavolo!’

Non vale un cavolo means ‘not worth the cabbage’.  This expression is used to declare something a waste of time.

Fatti i cavoli tuoi means ‘make your own cabbages’ and is equivalent to MYOB -mind your own business. Sono cavoli miei, literally ‘they are my cabbages’ means ‘it’s my business’. Example: ‘Fatti i cavoli tuoi, ma questi sono cavoli miei!’

Non ho fatto un cavolo means ‘I didn’t do a cabbage’-I didn’t do anything. Example: Domenica non ho fatto un cavolo/ On Sunday, I didn’t do a darn thing.

Fare una Cavolata-‘making a mess of cabbages’, means to do something stupid.  Example:  Lorenzo ha fatto una cavolata con la prenotazione /Lorenzo f**ked up the reservation.

Incazzata is the vulgar form of arrabbiata, meaning angry.  When you use incazzata, you are really angry!  Using the cavolo euphemism, we get Incavolata.  Example; Ieri quando ho visto la casa in disordine, mi sono incavolata! /Yesterday when I saw the mess in the house, I got angry!

Substituting with cavolo definitely makes the statement less intense, so if you really want to emphazize how you feel, keep the cazzo!

Scatole means boxes, and is a euphemism for palle or coglioni which are balls or testicles. Rompere le scatole, meaning ‘breaking the boxes’ is the polite way of saying ‘breaking balls’. Mi hai rotto le scatole=you have broken my boxes.  This expression is usually used when someone is annoying and getting on your nerves.

Non rompere le scatole-Don’t break the boxes /Don’t break my balls can be shortened simply to the no nonsense ‘non rompere’! Example: ‘Basta, mi hai rotto le scatole!’ = Enough! You have broken my boxes/balls!

Lui e un rompiscatolo means ‘he is a ball breaker’.  This usually refers to someone who is a PITA -a pain in the ass.

There is a new book on my ‘to read’ list called ‘Lo Zen e l’arte di non rompere le scatole’/Zen and the art of not breaking balls! by Enzo Braschi and Danilo Sacco.

These expressions are widely used in everyday Italiano. Interestingly, although both cavolo and scatole are euphemisms for male genitalia, they are gender neutral and used equally as often by and about women.

‘It is said Live and let live because mind your own F***ing business and don’t break the balls didn’t appear too polite’

Do you ever use these Italian eufemismi?  Or do you prefer to just say what you really mean? For other language posts, check out Italiese, Uffa, allora, purtroppo, magari, ….mannaggia, and Italian Christmas Vocabulary or search the category ‘parole piacevoli’.

Ciao, e non rompere!  Cristina